Memorial Website for Barbara Stewart, 1948 - 2009

Barbara's Family Life
by Matthew Roberts

With this tribute I want to draw attention to just one aspect of my mother's life - being a member of our family. That includes being a wife, a sister, an aunt, and a mother three times over.

The first of those to happen was when Barbara became a sister on... I won't say exactly when, but Audrey came into the world when my mother was only one year old herself. Audrey writes:

Barbara was a slightly-older sister. She almost always led the way, and argued for the privileges that I then got for free. We played together all the time, and shared friends as well as toys and the one bicycle the family owned. Once we were older, we lived apart, but we were always close, so close that we could often tell from far away when the other was troubled. Barbara taught me so much, shared so much, and connected me so much.

Barbara became a wife December 1st 1972. My parents thought of each other as each other's best friends. She became a mother for the first time September 13th, 1976 when Bryce was born, then again February 3rd 1979 when Malcolm was born, and finally I came into the world May 14th, 1982. Growing up I was aware of my mother's passionate involvement in advocating on behalf of the disabled, as well as her work with other issues and causes. However, being her son, what was always most apparent to me was her job as a mom! Many of her greatest accomplishments in her career I have only become fully aware of as a result of preparing her memorial. Of course these accomplishments become all the more extraordinary when you consider that she carried, gave birth to, and raised three boys. Recalling my childhood, it seemed to me that being a mom was all she ever did! She made sacrifices in her career to be a mother, taking time off during and after pregnancy; even once we had grown past the stage of being completely helpless, she returned to work only part time in order to be more available as a mother.

When Audrey gave birth to Fiona October 2nd 1985, my mom became an aunt. Finally my mom had an outlet for all those girl-specific gift ideas she had been saving up all the years! Although Audrey and Fiona live in Ottawa, my mom maintained a very close relationship with them. The three of them would sometimes go on various adventures together, for example to the rocky mountains, or Greece.

My mother was very passionate about her family. She was a tireless advocate for Bryce, especially in arranging for him to be educated in an integrated setting, which required considerable persuasion right from the beginning. She attended all the parent-teacher interviews, drove us around to all the sports and camps we were enrolled in, cooked our meals... she even taught us to cook, and played a major role in getting a new playground built at our elementary school. As I grew older and took an interest in music, my mother even traveled half way around the world in order to support me, visiting me onboard the cruise ship The World which I was performing on in 2004. Along with my dad, she lead us on many adventurous hikes and travels around the world. My mom's influence was very important to counter my own irresponsible curiosity which, if left unchecked, might have lead to our doom, as we very nearly learned the hard way one canoe trip when my mother decided to stay at home.

Click here to view a higher-resolution version of this slideshow on Google's Picassa.


Again, looking back all these things she did, it's very easy for me to take them for granted - it's just what moms do, right? Of course this is not true - not every mother is so dedicated, and even if it were so, that wouldn't make it any less remarkable. However, beyond these many wonderful things that she did, what most strikes me as evidence of my mom's love was the way she related directly with me. She cared deeply about who I was and who I was becoming, and what my life was and what it was becoming. Often we agreed; sometimes we didn't; sometimes we both may have become very frustrated with each other. But throughout everything I never doubted that she cared very deeply for me and about me, and I appreciate that very much. She's a big part of who I am today, and I am grateful for her influence. Since she has died, many of her friends have sent messages mentioning that she often remarked how proud she was of her sons, and I always feel very touched when reading these messages.

Many things about her inspire me, not least of which is the way she met her illness with courage and dignity.

Thanks for everything mom! I love you.

Matthew Roberts
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
Revised August 12th, 2010